The pointless ramblings and obscure humor of an over-worked, off-beat, performer-writer-teacher.

 

The Much Expected “Vacation Blog.”

Been gone for a while.  Went on vacation.  Like to write incomplete sentences with only predicates.  Sound like Frankenstein’s monster.  Hate it when Frankenstein’s monster is referred to as Frankenstein.  Feel like English teacher on vacation.

 

So I guess I’ll write the much expected “vacation blog.”

 

But first, how the hell did “Amazing Race” win an Emmy.  I haven’t watched awards shows in years.  Did they add a new category: “Most asinine way to waste an hour of your time.” If you want to waste two hours of your time, watch two episodes or the movie The Ring  (not to be confused with Lord of the Rings that can be a good way to spend half a day).

 

We started the vacation with a family reunion for my mother-in-law’s family (or is that “mother’s-in-law” – put that in your usage dictionary.) in West Yellowstone.  In case you don’t know, West Yellowstone is a small town in Montana (the little tail of Montana that sneaks down between Idaho and Wyoming) that is the location of the west gate to Yellowstone Park.  Now before someone asks, Yellowstone is not the home of Yogi Bear (or Yogi Bera for that matter).  I think at one time there may have been a “Hogie Yogi” in West Yellowstone, but if so, it has gone the way of all Yuppie retreats – swallowed by Starbucks.

 

West Yellowstone is about ninety minutes from where my mother lives in Idaho Falls, which is about three hours from Salt Lake City, which is about twelve hours from Albuquerque, which is a long dive to take with a three-year-old, a ten-month-old, and a wife with PMS.  Now at this point I could tell a few PMS jokes, but I really need to wait a couple of weeks if I don’t want my wife to kill me.  (He doesn’t know I’m reading this, but yes, I would kill him).

 

For the trip we bought a plug-in cooler – best purchase we made this summer.  My mother- and father-in-law bought one two, and between the two we kept food for our family and my wife’s sisters’ families as well.  But it’s best use was that we placed it between the kids.  I recommend a plug-in cooler to anyone who has a two-year-old that bugs his little sister until she screams so he can then scream.  Of course, if you don’t mind buying ice all along the way, buy a regular cooler.

 

My wife’s family always insists on taking a lot of food on road trips – and I mean a lot.  My parents-in-law drove their  big suburban.  Nobody rode with them, however, because even the two of them had a hard time squeezing in with all the snacks.

 

More to come. . .

posted by: WebPulp at 01:38 | link | comments (2) |