The pointless ramblings and obscure humor of an over-worked, off-beat, performer-writer-teacher.

 

What's The Matter With Today's Youth?

 

(It’s been a long time since I’ve written, but felt particularly inspired by the talk-radio topic on the way home from work today: Dangerous Toys of Your Childhood.)

 

I’ll tell you what is wrong with today’s youth – their childhoods were too safe.  They grew up with car-seats and seatbelts and safety equipment.  Their toys had to meet safety requirements and the “dangerous” ones were eliminated.  In short, the law of natural selection was thwarted – the law that said the strongest survive.  The youth of today missed out on the survival skills we of an older generation gained before the age of lawsuits and safety regulations.  They were the generation that was protected and over-protected.

 

I mean how many of today’s youth ever rode a skate board down a newly paved street on a hill with no knee pads or elbow pads or helmets in a t-shirt and cut-offs.  I still have my scars; where are theirs.  We had fun in a day and age before people thought fun had to be safety regulated.  We didn’t need “no stinkin’ safety helmets,” and the strong survived.

 

Those of us that grew up in the seventies were the last generation that didn’t have “safe” toys.  I remember vividly in the early eighties when the “Boba Fett” Star Wars figure was recalled because it’s rocket launcher was deemed too dangerous and the rocket too small.  It was the end of an era.  There are no more toys that fire little hard projectiles anymore. 

 

To those of you in my generation, how many of you remember projectile toys that would never be allowed in the hands of kids now days.  There are no more, “you’ll shoot your eye out toys.”  I remember plastic guns that fired discs about the size of pennies.  I know the discs were about the size of pennies because we use to fire pennies with the guns – the discs didn’t leave a red mark like the pennies did, so what fun were they.

 

If you attached a slinky to a nail on your roof, tied the other end around your waist, and jumped would it be strong enough to keep you from plummeting dangerously to the ground?  Of course the answer is no, but kids today don’t know that.  Their slinkies are made of cheap plastic and I’m sure must carry a warning that reads, “not intended to be a safety device while jumping off a roof.”

 

There are other questions that they’ll never be able to answer as well.  How long does it take for a Barbie to melt in and Easy-Bake Oven?  This experiment was attempted by times by my cousin until his sister would stop him – usually by throwing some metal toy at his head.  Or what about how many dangerous explosions can you cause with that chemistry set.  Of course the chemistry set came in a metal box – perfect for throwing at brothers (or cousins) trying to melt Barbies in Easy-Bake Ovens.

 

So what happened?  What caused the rise of the “toy police”? Who can we blame?  Why not blame those always deserving of blame (whether they deserve it or not) – the lawyers?  They are the reason coffee at McDonalds has a warning label, and I’m sure that they took away my super-powered wrist rocket as well.

posted by: WebPulp at 17:34 | link | comments (2) |